living with depression

Monthly Archives: August 2016

The past few weeks have been extremely stressful and hasn’t been helped by other people interferring with a fundraiser we were organising for last Saturday at the Retail Hub.  We wanted it to be for Leonard Cheshire Disability and had intended to have a coffee morning along with our friend who also wants to raise money for the charity.  Our other friend wanted to raise money for Macmillan so decided to do Brave the Shave and get sponsorship which we were pleased about.

Saturday came and it was a disaster which wasn’t helped by one of the ladies who works in the shop owned by our landlord booking a Keith Lemon impersonator.  I don’t like the man and nor do quite a few people we know.  The impersonator was just as vulgar as the real man despite being told it was a family day and to keep it clean.  our friend went through with Brave the Shave which Rick also did as well and I had a tattoo done for Macmillan.  It is a very personal tattoo as it is a celtic one and means strength and courage.  People who know my story understand my choice which is to have finishing touches in a couple of weeks.


On Sunday we went to Southport and should have been there for two nights.  We enjoyed the day despite me forgetting to pick up my medication but it turned sour because of having an awful bedroom and bathroom.  The bed was small and hard so neither of us slept well.  Yesterday we took ourselves off to Liverpool and enjoyed our morning.  We did however decide that we couldn’t spend another night in that bed so decided to check out.  I was on a downer generally so had a minor meltdown.  This morning it ended up being a major meltdown as I was tired,  fed up and feeling a complete failure.

We did manage to get most of our stuff out of the Retail Hub which did cheer me and Rick up.  Our shop is looking different already as we have more units now and new stock.  It still needs a lot of sorting out but it didn’t stop customers coming in and buying.  This evening we went out to have a meal as a ‘thank you’ to our friend for helping out so much.

I am still feeling fragile but am trying to keep positive.


It has been a stressful few months for both of us so it has been hard not to take it out on each other at times.   Organising a fundraiser probably hasn’t helped either.  We are doing it for Leonard Cheshire Disability on Saturday 27th August and Brave the Shave for Macmillan Cancer Support.

Rick and our friend are having their hair shaved plus anybody else who has the courage to do so on the day.  Their sponsor pages are and .

I won’t have my head shaved as every time I’ve had my hair cut short it’s been because I have been severely depressed and instantly regretted it.  Instead I’m having a rattoo done and my justgiving page is here  I’m just having the symbol which means strength and courage.

strengrh and courage



Last week was tough in more ways than one.  We came back from Wales last Monday and we were completely exhausted from the weekend and the drive.  Rick came back in our friend’s, Stewart, car, a removal firm had been hired to bring his belongings to his new home and I drove my car back.  It felt like a very long day.  We went out for a meal as I didn’t feel like cooking so we went to an Italian restaurant in Shildon.

Since then we have done quite a bit of running around for Stewart to keep him motivated.  He has done quite well considering he isn’t used to doing so much throughout the day.  I am working through his clothes to get them washed as they were smelly.  Stuart’s home is gradually taking shape now and it will be nice for him when his new carpets are down.  Our new new carpet for the living room will be fitted next week.

Anthony’s birthday was on the 3rd August and nothing could distract me.  I can’t explain why it has hit me harder than usual this year but it has.  All I can say is I hope we can get back to our normal routine soon.