living with depression

Monthly Archives: April 2017

We have had literally the week from hell. A week ago we got a telephone call from the police that the shop windows where we volunteer had been smashed – we are key holders. We had to go there as the shop needed securing and when we did at least one of us had to give a statement which I did. The one consolation was the police had already arrested the culprit and the CCTV footage proved who it was as well. The idiot who did it must have known we had CCTV as he lives next door in one of the flats as it is well advertised. He was facing the camera when he smashed the windows and even looked straight at it. Fortunately he was in effect forced to plea guilty because of that and is due in court on the 4th May.

The tenant who lives in the flat above the shop had been seeing the culprit despite being warned what he is like by us, her father and other people. She found out last Thursday for herself that we were all right as they had an argument and he threatened to hurt her. He used the shop as a way to get at us and it has generally been agreed that he thought she would be evicted because of his actions.

On Friday the windows were replaced and the person who did this knows it’s got to go through the insurance so has invoiced us. It cheered us up that the job was done so quickly.

On Friday evening we got another telephone call from the police asking us to go to the shop as they had to use force to get into the flat. We were furious as our mobile number is advertised in the shop window and in the time it took the police to get there we could have got to the shop and let the medics in to see to the tenant. So for the second night running we had to wait until the doors were boarded up to secure the shop and flat. The tenant had overdosed due to being scared of her now ex-boyfriend who had been released from the police station on the Friday afternoon.

We all feel very sorrow for the tenant as we all know what it is like to suffer with depression and be suicidal. From my personal point of view my moods have been erractic lately and I have been feeling like I’m on a tightrope that I could easily fall from it. Finding out that the tenant had overdozed had an extremely negative effect on me so I have had a personal battle not to do something stupid. The same person who dealt with the windows came out to board up the doors.

On Monday we set off to bonnie Scotland as we had planned this holiday a year ago. It is a well deserved break.

On Tuesday he dealt with the doors and gave a friend the new keys so the tenant could get back into the flat. She had been in hospital two nights, spent one at her dad’s and finally was temporarily living in Shildon. We thought everything would be okay now.

Late last night we had another telephone call from the police who needed to get in again due to a suspected overdose again. Rick explained that we are away and that it would take several hours to get there. He gave the police our friend’s number as she still had the shop keys. The police got through the street door okay but as the tenant had bolted the interior door the police still had to force that door. Now we have to deal with the door when we get home. The tenant is now back in hospital and she will get back in to the flat when we get home. I don’t know how much more stress I can take. So much for the restful break.


My moods are about the easiest to deal with at the moment. I am trying, with some success, of taking a deep breath, getting my brain into first gear then speak. Only problem now is trying to keep my sarcasm in check. I know I feel better once we are on holiday as we will be having a break from everything.

Being anaemic and tiredness are definitely interlinked and I am doing my best to deal with it sensibly. I am taking iron tablets and am eating spinach regularly but also eating tuna, eggs, dried fruit and brown rice more often. It’s hard eating the right foods and being depressed as well as I tend to snack so eating the wrong things.


My Dad’s funeral went as well as could be expected and the weather was beautiful. It was hard saying “goodbye” but I know he has gone to a better place, isn’t suffering and with my Mum. It was good to catch up with people that I haven’t seen for 6 years, except for one of my cousins whom I haven’t seen since our Nanna’s funeral. I enjoyed holding the newest edition to the family who was 17 days old on the day of the funeral. It brought back memories of my nieces when they were babies and the second youngest who is 7 months old arrived a little while later. We got to see the three great nieces and great nephew before leaving which made my day. All six children are beautiful and the older ones were well behaved for the short time we saw them.

I appreciated my sister giving me the family bible which I will always cherish. It brings back good memories which is how I want to remember my Dad. My sister’s one request is that it is either donated to a church or kept within the family which is an easy one to honour. She gave me three old photographs which includes one of our parents on their honeymoon. My sister found three of my reports from primary school which made me smile and I have them along with some books, glass tray with a dish and lid, candle holder and ring holder, an ornament that we bought for my parents, a glass ashtray and a ltter holder with a letter opener knife. Most have good memories but most of the books are ones I want to read, other than the bible the only other book I remember is one of newspaper articles from WW1. It felt as if the big bust up we had years ago hadn’t happened. I always have loved my sister but I just didn’t like her for a while and it was a typical ‘the longer we didn’t communicate the harder it got.’ We have sent text messages and mewssages through Facebook which has been great.