living with depression

Monthly Archives: October 2017

Today we brought home this little angel who is an early birthday present.


I am getting so fed up of being tired all of the time, this morning both of us overslept which is unusual. The good side of that was being able to spend time at home. Rick and Stewart went to the shop plus J was there as well.

When I took Cassie out there were two dogs I’ve never seen before wandering, it’s not unusual to see dogs out without their owners but not these two. When I got to the park a young lady coming out of it and she asked me if I had seen two dogs with a description so I was able to say ‘yes’. She was almost in tears and told me she had just moved into the area so I pointed her in the right direction. I am hoping it didn’t take too long to find the dogs as they looked in good condition / well looked after.

What isn’t helping my mood is that I am putting on weight and am at the point of not seeing the point of staying on course for bariatric surgery. Even though I hate being overweight I don’t have any motivation to lose weight. At first I was losing weight like I have in the past when I have tried losing weight but this time I have put on weight much quicker. Now I almost 2 Kg heavier than when I first got weighed’


This evening my sister rang to let me know one of our aunts by marriage has died of bowel cancer. She knew our aunt was ill but not how serious it was. It is going to be hard on our uncle as he is frail so we don’t know how much longer he has got.

My dad was an only child so there aren’t any close family members that side and there is just one aunt (excluding our uncle) left on our mum’s side. It must be hard on our cousins as their parents were ‘older’ parents but both much loved.

It is making me more aware of my own mortality wondering how many years I have left. If my family is anything to go by probably about another 30 years. Now that is a scary thought. I am thinking of happy memories more often these days and on bad days I almost wish I could go back to those days.