living with depression

Monthly Archives: February 2018

Each day seems like a blur and time is going too fast. That may seem ideal for someone who is looking forward to dying but it isn’t. I want to have some real pleasure before I die. At least I am spending a bit more time at homewhich is good and the pets like having company.

Today is the first anniversary of my dad dying and I feel so empty. To everybody else it’s just another day yet for me I wish I could feel something, anything ….

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Sixty years ago on the 15th February 1958 my parents married and it’s a scary thought that my sister and I are now in our 50s. My mum died in 2011 aged 76 and my dad died last year aged 87 years old. The past year has gone by so quickly and in ten days time it will be the first anniversary so I am thankful for the good memories. The past six years seems to have gone even quicker.

Life is too short to hold on to past hurts and possibly not being able to tell family how you feel. I do regret, at times, not making an effort with my mum even though she and my dad kept me at arms length. With my dad I was dealing with feelings of hurt and I tried to explain to him why I was hurting. It didn’t come out right but at at least I always let him know I loved him.

I am thankful for being able to talk to my sister as I have always loved her even when she has hurt me. She and I have memories that nobody else shares and I take comfort from those. We are also finding out so much about our dad that he never talked about. I am so proud of my dad.

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