living with depression

Monthly Archives: June 2018

I feel like I’m in a personal wilderness, not belonging to one church and no longer really fitting in with another. At some point I know I’m going to have to make a decision about were I’m going to worship but just as likely to surprise people. The confidence I had has gone, my self esteem is very low and I know longer trust people which is sad.

We’ve had enough problems over the past couple of years without a church organisation adding to it. Hopefully in the near future one of the things that’s caused us stressed will be resolved in our favour. I am just wondering how much more I will able to cope without completely breaking down.

Having pets is about the only thing that is keeping me going apart from Rick. He is also stressed out with the chain of events so that makes it even harder for both of us.

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Life has been bad for a few weeks, more than usual, due to the ‘power of our church’s hierarchy. Rick and I haven’t been able to talk about the matter with other members at our church so it was a shock for them tonight for Rick’s last service. One of them asked me what it was about so I gave the basic information and I felt bad for not telling her everything. I was worried that our minister would overhear the conversation. I know he isn’t happy about the situation and has been fighting in Rick’s corner but his hands have been tied by our superintendent and the ‘powers to be.’

It was tough this evening as Rick wanted to have his say which he was allowed to do. Afterwards our minister came up up to me and gave me a hug and asked if I was okay. I told him I was but after that I had to explain to the other members that I am keeping my membership there so will go to the other circuit / church in the mornings and there in the evening.

What’s happened is completely wrong and stressful for us.

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