living with depression

Monthly Archives: September 2019

My niece’s precious little angel was born alive late Saturday afternoon. She, her husband and the family knew that it was jsut borrowed time but I’m pleased they had time with this precious little girl before she died the next day.

It doesn’t take away from their pain and time will be difficult for a long time. They will never forget their loss and their baby has been added to the family tree as she existed and lived a brief life.

Goodnight sweetheart, rest in peace and know that you are loved.


My great niece or nephew was due on the 14th September, last Saturday, but my niece and nephew are going through the prolonged agony. It was one of my cousins birthday on the same day so in a way it is a relief in a way and I know that sounds terrible. Anybody who has suffered a huge loss will ‘get it’ and yet the pain of knowing my niece and nephew in law are still waiting for their loss is agonising. All I want to do is hug them and let them know what they are going through is normal for their situation.

Of course them being the adults they have to think about their son and the nephew in law’s son from his first marriage. His ex has been a responsible mother, him a responsible dad, so their son has intergrated with our family. I don’t ‘see’ him as a step great nephew – he is simply a great nephew. Rick and I have only met him once – at my sister’s 60th birthday party – but knew who he was immediately. It was so natural to tell him I had seen pictures of him and the family when they were in the States.

There are no words to express how I am feeling for them …


My new great niece or nephew is due in two days time and I won’t get to know him or her. It is far, far worse for my niece and nephew in law as they have gone through 9 months of pregnancy hoping for healthy son or daughter. They have a son whom they love to bits and my nephew in law’s son by his first marriage. It doesn’t take away the pain of knowing this child won’t grow up at all. I am thankful that they have support from a charity who will still be there for them. Of course there are the ripples out and the boys will have to go through the grieving process as well.

I wish that we did live closer during this time for extra support for them. Although my child didn’t die, he grew up and we were reunited when he was an adult I still grieve for the baby I lost. It is such a profound feeling – like an invisible amputation and in that respect I understand what K and M will be going through. I know my son had a good life and is healthy but they will never have that.

I am drawing on my faith and have been praying for K, M, J and T because the baby is T’s half brother or sister. It can’t be easy for him as his parents have been good parents and his step family – my family – love him just as much as all of the children.