Wearing A Mask

living with depression

…. I could tell my niece and and nephew-in-law I understand the intense, profound grief they are going through will be the worst grief they will go through.

I can’t because my baby didn’t die.

If only….

… I could tell them that what they are going through is natural.

I can’t because their grief is still raw.

If only….

I could tell them one day they would find the days easier even though the profound loss would still be there.

I can’t because it’s still very new.

I can’t because my pround grief and loss is just losing a baby. My son came back even though we don’t have contact because he hates me. My soul cries out for them as I know their grief and loss will always be far worse than mine ever will be.


I’m getting to an age where funerals are occuring more often for people I know with the next one being my great niece’s on 22nd October. Even though the family knew she was going to die it hasn’t made it any easier;

I am thankful she was born alive

I am thankful her parents held her

that her brother was able to hold her

she lived for just over a day, but….

saddened that her eldest brother didn’t meet her

we didn’t get to meet her (distance is great)

she died too young, yet …

She will always be part of the family

she lives in our hearts

we will get to meet her one day.

Doesn’t make it any easier and her mother, father and two brothers live with pain day by day.

Goodnight and God Bless Chloe, you were too perfect and special for this world and you know you are loved.


My niece’s precious little angel was born alive late Saturday afternoon. She, her husband and the family knew that it was jsut borrowed time but I’m pleased they had time with this precious little girl before she died the next day.

It doesn’t take away from their pain and time will be difficult for a long time. They will never forget their loss and their baby has been added to the family tree as she existed and lived a brief life.

Goodnight sweetheart, rest in peace and know that you are loved.

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