living with depression

family

It has been a sad year due to deaths in the family but there have been happy times as well.

My Dad died on the 27th February this year which was made worse for my sister as she was the one who found him. I am glad that we were able to spend time with my sister the evening before the funeral. She took us round to our Dad’s home so we could choose things we would like although I had already asked her if I could have the family bible. I have good memories of it so was happy to agree that the bible was either donated to a church or retained by the family.

At the end of May we rescued a staffie called Cassie who is a very happy dog. She has settled in well and is good with cats. Sadly our little Tinkerbelle died a few days after we got Cassie. She had been poorly throughout her three short years yet was a little angel. I am sure that Tinkerbelle knew she was loved and all the neighbours liked her.

We then got Grace who is a beautiful grey kitten with a white chest, tummy and white ‘toes’ on her hind paws. Grace has such a lovely nature, our friend Stewart has one of her sisters as well.

After that our eldest cat, Tasha, suffered an abscess behind her right eye so we took her to the vets. The vet who saw her managed to get quite a bit of pus from her face but Tasha was kept in overnight. The vet said that she believed removing Tasha’s eye was the best option but is the type who likes to get a second opinion. We collected Tasha the next morning and the vet we saw told us that she would be treated with pain relief and antibiotics. During the next two weeks more pus came from Tasha’s face so we could see a bit of improvement. Two weeks later we took Tasha back for a check up and were told to continue with pain relief and antibiotics. Both of us were concerned about this but as we believed the vet was making the right choice we continued with the treatment. A few days later Tasha disappeared which is unusual for her as she was a very timid cat who didn’t wander far. Last year Tasha disappeared for a week but came back looking dusty and it looked like she had been fed. This time we believe Tasha went off to die somewhere quiet. It has been a double blow losing two cats so quickly but we know they are in a better place and they are well.

On the last Sunday in October we got another kitten from the daughter of a friend. He is a beautiful ginger kitten who is very playful. It is funny having two kittens in the place and they get on very well, and, they even eat next to each other.

Since then my aunt by marriage to my mum’s twin brother has died and not too long after he died as well. None of my Mum’s brothers are alive now and only one aunt by marriage is alive. My Dad didn’t have any siblings and I don’t have any contact with family on his side anymore.

I have more contact with my sister now which has cheered me up more than I thought I would. It is something I hadn’t expected but I am really happy as I have always loved my sister.

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We are doing a week long Family Ministry course at Cliff College which is an experience in itself.  It’s been a bit different than I expected but well worth doing although the “fun” part will be doing an assignment which will be marked to get a certificate.  It’s many years since I have done this type of exam so it will be interesting to see how long it takes me to do as I have to write 3000 words.

On a different note I’ve been so occupied with the lectures that it’s taken my mind off depression.  I was getting down with all the voluntary work I was doing as I wasn’t getting a rest.  Up until now I have been enjoying the work but the last two weeks before the course were exhausting.

If I pass it will be a huge milestone for me as it is a bit daunting all the information that’s been chucked at us.

 

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Last week we went to Skegness for a week and it was a much needed holiday.  Friends at one of the churches we go to own the caravan we stayed in so knew it would be nice.  We were surprised to see the caravan has four bedrooms, two doubles and two singles.  The toilet with hand basin were separate to the shower which also had a hand basin.

The one sadness was our friend couldn’t be with us.  Her friend had a good time with us though and it was a real break for her.  It was lovely just to have a week’s break away from everything.  I know I had a good rest as the week went too quickly and I slept well except for the first night as I was overtired and last night.

We got home with a thud as we went to visit our friend with our / her friend before getting home.  She was happy to see us and happy to have presents.  One was a Christian poem which I read to her and can be put up on the wall, and, two soft toys – one is a lamb, the other a meercat.

While we there her brother rang and our friend passed the phone to Rick.  He was asked if we could get a phone charger to our friend’s daughter so Rick said we could do that but asked him to allow us about one hour to one and hour 1/2 hours to drop the friend off and get our stuff home.  I wanted a shower anyway.  To cut a long story short they weren’t at the hospital when we got there so we left the charger with a nursae then when went food shopping with our neighbour who had gone along for the ride and do shopping.

After we got home and had started relaxing our friend rang up to say we had left her brother stranded so Rick told her what had happened but said we would go and collect him – he doesn’t drive and believed he had missed his last bus home.  Anyway it got sorted and we are picking him up tomorrow to visit his neice.

 

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I wish I could say it’s been a tough few days but it’s been over two weeks now.  Mary seems to have gradually got better which I am thankful for and I believe in prayer.  So many people have prayed for Mary as she is loved for who she is.  She has learning disabilities yet she has lived perfectly well without extra help for at least all the time we have known her which is over two years.  We went to see Mary on the return home from our brief visit to London.  Soon after we got home we had a phone call from Mary’s grand daughter to let is know Mary has been taken to James Cook Hospital for surgery.

Mary’s life has been sad.  Her father was murdered in a pub which we found out from her youngest brother, Steven.  Mary went out shopping for her mother one day for vegetables then on her return found her mother dead in the bathroom.  We have been told by Mary that she has been married twice.  The first husband was the father of her daughter and died years ago then her second husband was violent but died  some time ago.  We also found out that Mary’s eldest brother died two months ago and she still doesn’t know.  Steven asked us with other friends present whether he should tell her or not.  We all agreed it would be better to wait until she is better.  Mary’s daughter has had her problems including minimal(?) learning disabilities and having a violent ex partner (husband).  She has four children who all have their issues.  She is also disabled now.

It’s been hard enough dealing with Mary’s diagnosis of bleeds on the brain causing falls or falls causing bleeds but we are also having to be strong for Mary’s family.  What has helped me going is that I believe God is looking after Mary and is relatively pain free.  Getting to know Mary’s family has also helped.  May’s daughter and grandchildren are vulnerable and need love / support.  I have grown to be quite protective of them without knowing them very well.  They are in desperate need of unjudgemental people in their lives.

ive suffered

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