living with depression


Sunday morning Rick and I had a heated discussion on whether I had cleaned out the rabbits run or not on Saturday afternoon.  I was in the bathroom at the time so told him to go and ask Lyn if I had.  He wouldn’t give it a rest about the amount of hay in the run so eventually I told Rick to take it up with the rabbits.  Lyn and I laughed about it on the way up to Seaham.

The night before  we had been to an Elvis Tribute night at the Durham Ox in Coundon with her friends Denise and Angela.  It was a very enjoyable night out, the pub has a friendly atmosphere and the young man was very good.  He is a Romanian called Eddy Popescu and the first time he heard an Elvis song was when he was 16 – he’s about 30 now.  Eddy looks very much like a young Elvis and sounds like him … the best Elvis tribute I have ever heard.

Yesterday there was a sad funeral for a 6 year old boy who died of cancer.  His parents and some of the mourners were dressed as super heroes, and, a group of boys were dressed as storm troopers.  The rear of the procession was a group of bikers.  Friends who were at the funeral (we didn’t know the boy or his family) said it was very emotional as well as a lovely service.  No funeral is pleasant but it seems that every effort to make it a memorable day.

Last night I went along to the friends in fellowship monthly meeting.  It was a good evening and we had a cream tea so we all suffered with a sugar rush.  It was a lovely treat for a few of us as we are diabetics.

I am still having bad days but they are getting easier.  Most of the time I am feeling tired but when I go to bed I struggle to get to sleep then have a restless night.


…. then why do I still feel sad?

Our friend went home on Wednesday and for six weeks she will be having carers in three or four times a day.  That’s if she lasts that long without telling her social worker she doesn’t want any help.  Apparently this has happened before so we will see what happens.

The last time we saw her daughter was last Sunday and haven’t had any contact since but that suits us.  Rick finally had enough of the dramas of this family when he rang up our friend’s brother on Tuesday evening and found out the daughter had decided to walk home from the hospital.  She was unkind enough to use her uncle by saying she wanted to go to the vending machine in reception and he would go with her.  He is a gentle man so it was horrible using him.  Rick did the sensible thing and rang the ward.  She was found and taken back to the ward and now doesn’t want contact with her uncle.  On Wednesday Rick got some strange texts from her eldest daughter so blocked that number and her number.  He and I have talked about the situation and has agreed that we should have pulled back weeks ago like I had suggested.

I’m at my happiest when stroking my rabbits.  They are getting used to being picked up now and are getting more defined personalities.  Cagney is definitely the more gentle, cuddly one who is funny when she decides to start lick me as she is so gentle.  Lacey is lively and licks as well and both nibble which is also funny.  They are accepting food when we give it to them when we have them out.  We have ordered a new hutch which stands on a run with a ramp from the hutch.  It is being delivered on Monday along with a thermal sheet and cover.  I have been shocked by how willing Rick has been to spend money on them.





























































































































































































































































































































































Since being back from our holiday I have been feeling stressed again.  It has been good to see our friend improve and be back to her old self again although eating well has probably helped.  Getting her to church on Sunday morning was fantastic and seeing everybody go to her made my day.  One thing puzzled us was finding out she could be going home on Wednesday so we got to the bottom off it when we took her back to the ward.  All the way through it’s been on our friend’s notes right from the start that we were to be included in discussions as she and her family all have special needs.  She, in particular, needs everything explained simply otherwise she doesn’t understand.  Her daughter and grandchildren understand but sometimes they do ask questions which we are happy to answer even if it means getting a member of staff to explain.

With our friend’s first social worker she realized fairly quickly that our friend thinks a lot of us so was willing to talk to us.  She knew we have our friend’s best interests a top priority so said we would be included in a meeting before our friend goes home.  Unfortunately this didn’t happen as there has been a change of social worker who, in his wisdom, thought it was okay to discuss the care plan with our friend.  The ward sister believed that our friend has understood and there was no need for us to be there but found out very quickly that this isn’t the case.  Rick asked our friend what the care plan is in front of the sister and she said “I don’t know,” as she doesn’t remember.

Rick brought up issues and I raised my concern that our friend wouldn’t eat properly, then explained about rotten food and out of date food being chucked out by her daughter.  I also mentioned that I had to bin rotten food as well and would need to go through our friend’s cupboards and fridge when she got home.  The ward sister understood then that we know what we are talking about, our friend will need extra support and she said she would talk to the social worker with the points we have raised.

On a lighter note we have got two baby rabbits which we bought on Saturday morning.  They are sisters and we saw the parents who are beautiful, I have called them Cagney and Lacy.  They are solely my responsibility.  That doesn’t bother me as I’m the one who feeds the cats and fed the dogs despite the agreement when we got our first kitten and puppy that the dog was Rick’s responsibility.  Our first dog decided I was the one who fed him so if Rick put down food for him I would have to tell him to go and eat it.  Rick’s mum always laughed about it and would comment that if she hadn’t seen it for herself she wouldn’t have believed it.  One night Rick took Bouncer to his mother’s one night and he wouldn’t eat the food that was put down so Rick rang me and I told Bouncer to eat his food.  When Bouncer heard my voice he went to the kitchen and ate.

The rabbits are very cuddly and love snuggling into us so it has been easy to get attached.

Rick and Cagney Philippa and Lacey